Status after this long gap

I was traveling on an urgent personal matter. My maids were the best. Anu made sure she came everyday, the kitchen was clean and vegetables bought. Anu even watered my plants. Laxmi took a couple of days off but then that was expected. Kala came every day.

I was happy to come back to a clean house.

Laxmi is back again

OK so after seven days of uninterrupted absence, Laxmi is back with a biting-her-tongue expression.

"What happened"
"Mumbo-jumbo"

"See its so much trouble for me if you remain absent like this. If you get a better job, let me know, find a replacement and go. I will be happy for you. Will you do it again?"
"Yes, I will" :)

Anyway, she put her heart into her work and I let her. She said she wants to be the only person working for me. I was like, "Hello, aunty?! If you were the only one I would have to leave my job and focus on household work"

She made tea for both of us. Before she left, I gave her some lunch. I will ask her tomorrow how much money she made by selling old newspapers I gave her. I am just curious.

As for my plan to delay monthly payments for her, the decision still stands.

No Laxmi, no one else either

Well, Laxmi did not come the next day. I don't know why. I called another maid. She did not come either. I don't know why. So...I swept and mopped my home. It wasn't so tough...really! Maybe sweeping the house twice a week and mopping it once should be enough. I dislike cleaning bathrooms but hopefully I will be able to manage. My dishes and clothes are anyway being washed by Kala and Anu cooks. I might just decide not to employ anyone else. It seems like a good idea...at least for now.

New resolve

Tomorrow baihood will see a new me! I will spare no trick in the trade to be manage my battalion. It took me this long realize that there was a difference between managing an educated workforce and labor. So the new me, has made the following decisions:

• Salaries for the new staff will be given only after week 1 of the month (not the 1st day as I was doing earlier). Anu has been with me for over two years now and so she will continue to get paid on the 1st.
• I will show no excessive generosity.
• I will continue to remain understanding and demonstrate concern.
• I will keep my distance from the new 'bai's - Kala and Laxmi.
  

My sister has an excellent track record with the 'Bai's. Her husband has a transferable job and so they move places every 4-5 years. When she employs a bai, they stay with her for the entire duration, every time! My sister feels that I should interact with my bai more often to keep them motivated and overlook some things they do not do well. I can manage the latter but I can't make a polite conversation at 6:30 - 7 AM! After Laxmi's experience, I don't even feel like making any conversation even otherwise.

Talking of Laxmi, she called(!)today giving some silly excuse but wanting to continue to work. She hasn't reported for three days straight. She plans to come tomorrow morning.

No, I don't plan to give her a warm shawl that I wanted to three days back...at least not today.

Disgusting

Laxmi did not come today. I had to call the security repeatedly for her. Initially, I was told she would come and then Murugan (her husband) said she did not come to the building at all. He was lying.

I can't explain how disgusted I am! I have realized that arm-twisting is the only way that works for most 'bai's...and I just don't feel good doing that!

If she comes tomorrow, I feel like asking her to leave for good but then I know the next one will also most likely come with the same set of values.

Repeat mistake

Laxmi did not come today again. I don't know why. Maybe because she is unwell...

I paid her dues yesterday. I know I should have held her salary till atleast 7th. Now there is a greater chance of another bai disappearance. Let's see.

Kala rejoins and shares 50 percent work of Laxmi

Laxmi did not come yesterday. She did not let me know in advance either. I was a little concerned because of our earlier salary discussion (bai disappearance is common :). When she did not come till 8:30 AM this morning, I sent for Kala. In any case, I wanted to employ Kala because of her family condition.

Laxmi finally came at 11:30 AM. She said she has been unwell. I told her about my decision. She wanted to do all work but by then I had made up my mind. I was worried that once she gets her work back, the demands on salary would start again. The continual salary discussion irritates me. I also needed someone to finish some critical work prior to my leaving for work. With Laxmi things were not working out atleast for the morning bit.

So-
Kala and Anu will come in the morning and finish the urgent kitchen related work.
Laxmi will work once I return for work for cleaning the house.

I have to confess, I would've loved to have Laxmi do all my work. She is great at what she does. I told Laxmi what she would be paid for her work going forward (Rs 500). I told her to discuss with her friends and family and let me know by tomorrow if the number works for her. If it does, I would not want to discuss the topic again and again.

I gave Laxmi old newspapers to sell and keep whatever money she makes out of it. I noticed today that her sweater was torn. I want to give her another sweater but don't have one. Maybe I will give her an old shawl...

World AIDS day

Laxmi's brother died of AIDS sometime back. His 20-year old wife is HIV positive. She has two children. Laxmi told me that people avoid visiting their house. If they do, they don't drink water etc. I explained to her what AIDS is and how it spreads. She seemed to know how AIDS spreads but not how it does not.

Hopefully our conversation helps her and her neighbourhood.

Laxmi wants a hike already

Laxmi came to me, "I have something to tell you which I missed telling earlier - I need more money...about Rs. 1500 per month"

By any standards, Rs. 850 is a generous offer for a 60-90 minutes job-I prefer to pay a little extra to my domestic help so avoid exactly this habit of bargaining at very quick intervals. Typically, I have found them to be tutored by their spouses or by other 'bai's.

I had just returned from work and was kind of irritated to hear the request. So I let the matter lay for a bit. I made my usual cup of tea and shared with Laxmi as always. Just as she was about to leave, I explained to her gently that I was surprised at her request. In any case, since I liked her and her work and I wanted her to be happy, she can choose from any of the three options-
1. Take half the work (and I will call another bai for the remainder work-I want to anyway employ Kala)
2. Discuss with her friends or husband and if she is convinced Rs. 850 is a good deal she can continue working.
3. Leave my work completely and join wherever she gets the kind of money she demanded (this by the way, never needs to be told-it is a foregone conclusion). I will call her whenever I need a helping hand.

I told her to decide and let me know by tomorrow morning. Once she has made her decision, I would not want to discuss it for atleast six months.

I hope she chooses option #2!

Kala returns, Laxmi rocks

Anu told me that Kala is back along with her husband. Her husband who was admitted to a Christian home is now calm and prays all day. I am happy. I told Anu about the new domestic violence law in India. I told her to inform Kala about it but to use it only after considering her home situation since a brush with law is always stressful.

Laxmi is totally happening! We share a very comfortable relationship. Laxmi does not need too much attention. She is easygoing which works for me. She eagerly accepts what I give her. I like that too. Besides, she is also a great help!

Kala and Laxmi's salary

Anu tells me that Kala is still not back from leaving her husband in the sanatorium in the nearby city. Anu tells me her husband batters her after drinking-tearing off her nightie in the street, hitting her head against the wall etc. I told Anu to let me know once Kala is back so that she can collect her dues (she worked for me for three days before she took leave). I also want to see if I can somehow employ her.

Laxmi's salary is decided. I will pay her Rs. 850 per month. She seemed happy. I liked that.

Priya is gone

This morning I told Priya that she would have to leave. It was an amicable settlement-she said she had been wanting to leave too. :)

Laxmi settles in

Laxmi is middle aged, has a daughter studying in Class (or grade) IX and a son who is a Class VI dropout.

Laxmi is in need of money. Her husband owned a tyre repair shop and was earning well for his family. However, he lost all the family money and assets in gambling, buying lottery tickets and drinking. They are currently under a heavy debt because of which Laxmi had to start working five months ago and her son had to drop out of school to contribute towards family income.

Laxmi's husband, Murugan is now one of the security guards in my building complex. He works two shifts so that he can double his income. Laxmi works in five homes. Her son, is a roadside vendor. With their joint income, Laxmi thinks that they will be able to repay their debts in two years' time.

There are two aspects of Laxmi that immediately attracted me-
One, she is a happy person. She told me her story not in self-pity but smilingly, even finding humor in her current life and how she was led to this stage by Murugan.

Two, she chose to educate her daughter over her son. This really surprised me. I would have expected most parents (even those from blessed families) to educate their son if they had to make a choice. ("After all the daughter would be married and living with another family and it is they who would gain from her education, not us"). And to think this forward thinking comes from the lady who is not educated herself is mind boggling to me!

Priya broke the stopper to my water filter today. She didn't tell me. I had to discover the breakage by myself. I will be asking her to leave for good tomorrow. I have worked out an arrangement with Laxmi.

I had an expectation setting talk with Laxmi-1. She need to let me know a day earlier if she wants leave so that I can plan the next day. 2. If she's tired/does not feel like working, she needs to tell me so that I can size the work for her. But what she does, she needs to to do it well. 3. She needs to tell me the truth otherwise I will not be able to trust her. 4. If she has a problem with anything, she should talk to me so that I can find a solution.

Laxmi is fine with the my expectations and had one thing to ask me-she cannot keep to time and so she will be +/- 30 minutes. Although this was a difficult request since I go out to work myself, I think it can be managed.

Glass and wire gauze

This morning I found Priya using wire gauze to clean glass utensils! This explains the scratches I have been observing in my crockery lately. I am so annoyed! Priya seems to needs so much attention that the advantage of having her vis-a-vis doing it myself is getting narrower.

If something does not change with her quickly, I might just ask her to leave by this month-end.

Laxmi joins the party

Parimala has disappeared again. She worked last on November 17 and after that she's gone! No info, nothing.

So I got Laxmi to join me. Laxmi has helped me through one of Parimala/Kala's absence. Oh by the way, Kala is still not come back from her visit. I need her to come and collect her dues.

I like Laxmi.

Priya and 2/3

Priya is supposed to wipe the washed utensils before placing them back on the shelves. She tries to avoid this task in many different ways. So a few weeks ago, I started spot checking her work before she leaves. Once I point out a utensil to her, she immediately does the needful. Over time, this has become a game for her. So today, I decided to add a deterrent-once she was done drying the utensil I had just pointed to her, I told her to replace the wet shelf lining as well. She protested, I insisted. She did the job. Will this deterrent help? I don't know, but I tried. :) Like I said earlier, Priya does not like to work.

Parimala has not come again. This is her third day of absence. I have to find a replacement now.

I'm happy: 3/3

Need I say more!

Parimala is back!

I just had to have Parimala back. I got Anu to coax her to come and meet me. When she finally came this evening, it was pretty simple:

Me: Parimala, what happened?
Parimala: Nothing, Didi. I will work for you.

I couldn't find out exactly why she left suddenly. She seemed happy to be back and I was happier to have her back. Nothing else mattered.

Peace prevailed. We had tea together, made some friendly conversation and then she did a little work left over by another bai I had called this morning. It's finalized now-Parimala will work in the evening on weekdays and late mornings during the weekends.

I have learnt to keep aside my ego when I find a great help. It is a rare find it in the world of 'bai's. This time I did not want to lose out.

As for tomorrow, I keep my fingers crossed.

I give up: 1/3

Anu did not turn up for the second day without notice.
Kala did not turn up as scheduled.
Priya did half her work with double the attitude.
Aradhana grumbled, kept the house tidy by herself and wrote this post.

0/3

Today no one came. Kala ofcourse was on leave till today. Anu and Priya-no clue.

I might have some stories for tomorrow's post. :)

Monday morning blues

Anu and Priya probably had Monday morning blues. They both came together but about an hour late. I wasn't expecting they would. But they were both extremely sweet in completing as much as they could in the 30 minutes left for me to leave for work. So I could have a hearty breakfast.

My life is blessed.

A smart decision and the first holiday

After Parimala left, I realized there is a smart decision that the lady of the house can make to tug the rope in per favor-pay out salaries only by the second week of a month. I cannot get myself to do that but I know it will work.

Kala joined just three days ago. She has already taken three days leave from work starting tomorrow. I am resigned to my fate. I did not create a fuss. She has to get her alcoholic husband admitted to a sanatorium in a nearby city. I cannot risk feeling guilty if she's indeed speaking the truth. Her need sounded genuine. Also, I think I like Kala.

Characters on one side of the tug-of-war

1. Anu: My cook and all-time favorite. I am openly partial towards her. She has been serving my family decent meals for over two years now. She is clean, intelligent and my eyes into the bai world. Parimala (previous posting) is Anu's newly married sister-in-law. They share a hot-cold
relationship. I pay Anu Rs.1000 per month.

2. Priya: Cleans clothes and washes dishes. Priya does not like to work. She plans to get married in May but will stop working by March (in another 4 months). Priya gets Rs.450 per month from my ousehold.

3. Kala: A new replacement for Parimala. It's just been two days since she started working. For these two days, she has been slow but clean. Her salary needs to be determined. I will probably pay her Rs. 500 per month.

4. Basavaraju: Cleans the car. I see him only on Sundays when he comes to collect his salary or the keys to clean the car from inside. He is business-like. He is paid Rs.500 per month.

5. Phoolwali: Brings flowers everyday to be offered to the God. She is old and has the best (paan stained) smile in the world. Seeing her in the morning brightens my day. She has four or five daughters. I keep forgetting her name. She earns Rs.120 per month from my household.

6. Presswala: Irons/washes clothes. He (or his wife) come every Saturday to collect clothes for ironing and then deliver it after a few hours. He seems sincere and honest. His wife a little wanting. I don't remember their names. From my household, they typically earn about from Rs. 350-500 per month depending on the number of clothes.

7. Cablewala: Provides us cable television connection. I interact with him once a month when he comes to collect the service fee. His cell phone is turned off when we get interrupted/no cable service. He charges Rs. 240 per month.

8. Newspaper: Brings two newspapers one weekdays-Times of India and Economic Times. On weekends he is to get only Times of India and two magazines-Outlook and Business India. Things any times get mixed up. He is a pleasant young man. I pay him in the vicinity of Rs. 240.

9. Safa/Supriya/Shaner store: These are small stores who deliver grocery at my door. They are polite and deliver even small quantities. I prefer them to bigger stores. My favorite was Shaner store. They closed shop recently. I feel sad. I pay in the range of Rs. 30 - Rs.2000 per visit depending on the goods ordered.

10. Doodhwala: Brings milk packets every morning. I see him every two-three months when he sells milk coupons. He has a flawless service track record. I pay him close to about Rs. 500 per month.

For simplicity, this blog primarily focuses on those ladies who work/will work inside my house.

Background

On 7th November one of my favorite 'bai's-Parimala decided leave my household. She survived about seven months. I am still grieving her departure.

I didn't know she had decided to dump my work-no, not a clue. Why would anyone? I am generous with my gifts, lenient with their unscheduled absence from work, forgiving about breakages and polite in conversation. Except that I supervise work closely.

Infact I didn't know she was leaving till she did not report to work for four days. When she did, I paid her salary for the previous month and took her back. She didn't return after that. I am told she feels unwell working in the morning (the time she worked for me). I tried calling her back to work out another time but she never came.

I am amused with this fresh experience. With many such incidents behind me, I was ready to blog.